justjasper:

I have a number of gay friends who are effeminate. They lisp, flap their wrists, shriek and mince, they are sassy and bitchy and fashionable. They listen to Lady Gaga and wear make up and carry handbags.

And I am sick of having to listen to queer people (usually gay cis men) cut them down with…

I’m actually working on a story dealing with effemiphobia right now, and I checked in with some friends to see if their cultural experiences had changed from years past, since many things have shifted in the queer landscape. Nope. ‘Straight-looking/straight-acting’ is still the ideal, acceptable gender presentation parameters are still revoltingly narrow, and it is still the case that lots of dudes might want to get with a flaming-nelly-sissy-swishy boy in private, but would never be caught dead actually publicly dating one.

It’s the double-victimization that gets to me: so many of these boys came from small towns where they dreamed of getting away to a city and finding a community, only to find, once they did, that they were just as ostracized, hated, disenfranchised and disempowered as they were back home.