Dear Stephen Colbert: please have Chris Colfer on your show to plug Land of Stories because it’s a children’s book and so you could easily challenge him to swap books with you and do a read-aloud competition with I Am A Pole (And So Can You) which would net us your adoring fans audio of Chris Colfer saying ‘Pole’ repeatedly which we need because of reasons plus you could also continue what you started with Neil Patrick Harris and interact with a gay kid who’s so nonthreatening that you may experience the urge to put him on your lap and pinch his cheeks (an urge you should totally, totally give in to, by the way) plus it would be adorable and make many lives complete and also piss off the Pope which despite your devout Catholicism I think you kind of enjoy.

So. Please?